Sunday, November 19, 2006

Unlucky in "Seven," Lucky in Escape

(In which we ruin the endings of a couple of movies, that you should have seen already anyway.)

If your character dies in the movie "The Magnificent Seven," then you get to get out of Germany in "The Great Escape." (Coburn, Bronson)

If your character survives in "The Magnificent Seven," you get sent back to the cooler in "The Great Escape." (McQueen)

If your character is decapitated in "Se7en," you get to be one of "The Royal Tenenbaums." (Paltrow)

If you go blind and get shot in "The Great Escape," you get to be the President and "Escape From New York." (Pleasence)

If you get killed in "Escape from New York," you get killed on "South Park." (Isaac Hayes)

If you get killed on "South Park," you get to come back again week after week. (Kenny)

If you get to "Escape from New York," you survive if you're in the original "Poseidon Adventure," (Borgnine), but die if you're in the remake. (Russell)

If you die in the original "Poseidon Adventure," you also get to be one of "The Royal Tenenbaums." (Hackman)

If you play "M" in "Casino Royale" (Sorry, the 1967 version)(John Huston), your daughter gets to be one of "The Royal Tenenbaums." (Anjelica Huston)

If you play "Vesper Lynd" in "Casino Royale" (1967), you also play "Honey Ryder" in "Dr. No" (Ursula Andress)

If you play "James Bond" in "Casino Royale" (2006), or "The Hulk", or one of "The Pirates of the Carribean," you get to be an avenging Jew in Steven Spielberg's "Munich" (Daniel Craig, Eric Bana, Geoffrey Rush)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I wanna be an avenging jew.

Cake said...

::blinks::

I got nuffin'...and I think I need an aspirin now.